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Home > Freaky Friday
We Have Found 7 Products for your search of Freaky Friday.
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8 Things a Dad Needs to Know About Child Sexual Abuse, Molestation
by Francis Olotu
A dad is the chief security officer of his home; with the rising incidence of child sexual abuse, a father needs to be well informed about this threat so that he can put in place proactive measures to protect his children. He needs to know the following:
1. What child sexual abuse/molestation is. Child sexual abuse is any sexual behaviour that is abusive towards a child or a minor. It is prohibited by law. Dr Carla Van Dam, a leading authority on the subject defines it as a violation of a trust relationship with unequal power and /or advanced knowledge involving the need for secrecy and sexual activity. It embraces simulated or actual intercourse, fondling, oral sex, exhibitionism, taking sexually explicit pictures of children, showing sexually explicit material to children or having sex in front of a child.
2. Other synonyms of child sexual abuse/molestation. Incest offenders are persons who sexually abuse their own children or children who are their blood relatives such as nieces, nephews or cousins. Sex Predators are described as such because they prey on unsuspecting children. Pedophiles are adults who are sexually attracted to children and desire to have sexual contact with them. Sexually violent offenders are those who kidnap, rape and may murder children after sexually violating them.
3. The occurrence of child sexual abuse/molestation. While it is considered an emerging problem in many parts of the world because of other issues competing for attention, it is not so in America. It is a very common problem globally.
4. Child molesters are usually known persons. Most molesters abuse children they have access to either by virtue of their position as a parent, step-parent, mother's boyfriend, uncle, nephew, neighbour, babysitter and visiting guest. They can abuse boys as well as girls. Some parents because of close family ties or longstanding relationship find it hard to believe such persons are guilty and so fail to report the matter to the police. A treacherous group of molesters work or volunteer to work in settings where they have unfettered access to children and this includes coaches, teachers, ministers/priests, daycare providers and Boy Scout leaders.
5. Child molesters are very skillful in their devious acts. Child molesters commonly enjoy a position of trust in their victim's family and they use this in confusing the victim that they mean well while sexually abusing them. They often succeed in convincing the victim not to report to his/her parents and in case the victim reports, they often persuade the adult that the child misunderstood his intentions. In this way they are able to stay out of the long hands of the law while carrying on with abusing other children. They are skilled manipulators who study their victims well before descending on them.
7. Children can neither defend nor protect themselves from child molesters. Because child molesters are older and wiser than their victims, adults must take on the role of delivering children from child molesters. They entice their victims with gifts, take them to places, give them attention and also threaten to harm them if they make disclosures. Molesters prepare the ground by telling dirty jokes, talking about sexual things and engaging in non-sexual physical contacts such as back-rubs, wrestling, hugging and horseplay. This serves to make sexual touching normal when it starts and the unsuspecting victim is thus beguiled to think it is play as usual.
8. Child sexual abuse can cause serious physical, social, behavioural and emotional problems to the child. The range of problems includes depression, aggression, social withdrawal or impaired socialization, early sexualization or unusual preoccupation with sex, poor school performance or refusal to go to school. The child may grow up to become an abuser. A victim must get professional help at the earliest to limit the damage to his/her emotional life and may also require therapeutic intervention at any stage in life when a problem related to the assault surfaces. Parents must not let down their guards as far as protecting their child from this evil is concerned.
About the Author
Dr Francis Edo Olotu is the Medical Director of Christ Hospital, Ondo. He is also a family counselor who regularly counsels married persons and administers pre-marriage counseling to couples about to marry in his home church of St John Bosco Catholic Church Ondo. He is a frequently featured speaker in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal. He is married to Catherine and their marriage is blessed with four children in the age bracket of twelve to twenty two. Dr Olotu is the author of the following books: The Amazing Power in Fatherhood; Releasing the Power in Fatherhood as well as Your Guide to Cancer Prevention.
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